Playing hide & seek behind the tv!

Playing hide & seek behind the tv!

Thursday, 29 April 2010

Pass the Red Bull!

I am so exhausted that I haven't even had the energy to write lately. Hence the silence. I decided to force myself to sit down with the laptop, and turn my attention to my blog, rather than idly reading the Baby and Bump forum, which I must say, has become my best friend in the past few weeks.

I am 27 weeks and 1 day pregnant today - but I feel and look about 12 months pregnant! My body is slowly shutting down on me. I can't move, think, or even speak. In fact, my sister actually thought I'd been secretly hitting the bottle as I was slurring my words so much the other day!! I had to convince her that the only type of bottle on my mind lately, is which type of bottle is best used for breastfed babies! (I've decided to go with Nuk bottles, in case you're wondering).

I knew that carrying twins must be hard work, but I don't think you ever comprehend just how hard it is, unless it happens to you. My hormones are ALL over the place (I cry at the drop of a hat), the mood swings are horrendous, and as for the pain and discomfort - lets not even go there! I look like an elephant yet feel as fragile as Humpty Dumpty (I will crack I tell you!).

This pregnancy has been a learning curve for me. It has taught me resistance ( I will resist the urge to hit hubby over the head with the frying pan, no matter how much he's annoying me), patience (I must stop rushing around as I don't want to faint from the head rush), determination (I CAN put my own underwear on if I just try a little harder to lift up my damn leg!) and the ability to swallow my pride and accept help from my loved ones, when it is offered.

I phoned up one of my sisters yesterday in tears. I needed to get my frustrations out so I moaned to her about the lack of energy and how the place was a mess, yet how I couldn't clean up because I hardly had the energy to even move from my sofa! I cried that I didn't even have the energy to cook ,so had been living on toast for breakfast and lunch lately, until hubby came home to cook. My sister immediately offered to come round and help after an appointment she had. At first I declined her offer and told her I wasn't hinting for help, just merely having a moan and that I would be far too embarrassed to have my sis come and clean for me. She insisted that I didn't have to do this on my own, after all "what are family for?" A few hours later, she came to my rescue with her friend, rubber gloves in one hand, lunch for me in the other! I am eternally grateful to her for all the support and help she has given me since the beginning of this pregnancy.

I am hoping the next 10 weeks that I have left whizz by. I am sure that once my little men are here, it will be very hard work, but at least I will gain back control of my body. In the meantime, all I can say is - pass me the Red Bull. Apparently, it gives you wings. Maybe then I can fly off this sofa...

Thursday, 22 April 2010

A little bit of background....

As I've started this blog late rather than at the beginning of my pregnancy, I really should do a quick update on the missing weeks. After finding out about the twins at my 12 week scan, I was told I would be scanned every two weeks starting from 16 weeks onwards, to keep an eye on the babies' growth. Reason for this is because as they are identical, they are at risk of getting Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS). This is a condition where one twin gets most of the nutrients (they share a placenta) while the other starves, and can be fatal for both babies.

Of course the moment I heard I'm carrying twins I came home and frantically googled identical twins, hoping to learn more about what to expect. When I read about TTTS my concerns and anxieties I already had quadrupled!! I couldn't stop worrying! The next 4 weeks seemed like the longest in my life, waiting for the date to finally arrive for my next scan. Unfortunately, it didn't put my mind at rest, as I had a terrible consultant who had no bedside manner. She explained the reason for the regular scans and the risks of TTTS, telling me that both babies "could die" if they get it! I was horrified at the way she put it. Rather than reassuring me and calming me down, I left that appointment a nervous wreck. I will not bore you with the details, but to cut a long story short, I complained and got my consultant changed. I am now in the care of a lovely and very capable consultant and I'm happy to report that all is well with the boys. Oh yeah, I found out I'm having two more boys! Aaaaah the testosterone levels that will be in our household!! Hopefully it won't result in me growing hairs on my chest!

I was signed off work at 20 weeks, so have been at home (barely moving from my trusty old sofa, I'm sure there's a bum dent in it now!) for the last 6 weeks. I am going out of my mind with boredom and frustration as I am really not used to sitting around doing nothing, but if it means my boys are growing well and will stay put for longer, than so be it. And so here we are today! Twenty six weeks and 1 day pregnant, and as huge as an elephant! Now where did I put that second chocolate bar....

Monday, 19 April 2010

Birthday Blues?

It is my dear hubby's 40th birthday today. "Farty at forty", he keeps telling me! Not quite sure why he wants to joke about flatulence, but he has one of those sense of humours. I think it stems from the fear of getting old - laugh it off and it trivialises it. The idea of being a dad to three small children somewhat scares him slightly. "Will I have the energy to run after them and play with them?" Course you won't, I joke back, but that has nothing to do with your age!

It isn't just him with these niggly worries. Nearly three weeks ago I celebrated my 30th. Well, I say celebrated, but to be honest with you, when you are 23 weeks pregnant with twins, you can hardly move from the spot, let alone celebrate! I had grand plans for our birthdays this year. We were both reaching important milestones so I was going to arrange big parties - maybe a joint one. Yet our twins had other ideas and decided to join the party and so our focus changed from us, to them - naturally! Now the only thing that will be keeping me up in the small hours of the night, is not my partying, but my weak bladder. As I sit wide awake at 3am in the morning, on the edge of the bed in the dark, trying to reason with twin 1 that kicking mummy in the bladder at this hour is really not on, I wonder if I am truly prepared for the double delights that will come with twins! "OMG OMG I'll never sleep again", goes the mantra in my head.

I am 26 weeks pregnant tomorrow. Every week is a great achievement for me as I know that twins can come early. So the more my little buns cook, the more I can relax and try to enjoy the pregnancy. After all, this will be the last time I'll be pregnant. The last time I will feel a baby move and kick inside me. The last time I will be creating a miracle (two miracles!). So I try to remind myself to enjoy it. Yes, even the difficult parts of the pregnancy, and believe me, there are plenty of them!

And so as I wish hubby a very happy birthday, and remind him that you're as old as the woman you feel (so you're only 30 babe!) I promise him that we are going to celebrate an important birthday this year - the birthday of our twins in approximately 12 weeks time - and what can be more important or exciting than that!?!

Sunday, 18 April 2010

Spreading the news...

And so the phone calls began. The moment I left the sonographer's room, I grabbed my bag and manically began punching my family's phone numbers into my mobile. How do I tell them there's two on the way? They were already worried about how we would cope with one more baby financially, so I wasn't sure how they would take the news of two! Hell, I wasn't even sure how to take the news yet.

I began all my conversations in the same way "Are you sitting down?" To my great relief though, my family were so excited and happy for us. After initially laughing at me (not sure why they found it soo funny!) they all promised that all would be ok and they would be there to help and do what they could - thank God for family hey! As I screeched down the line that I'm expecting twins, I could see the other expectant mothers in the waiting room looking over at me and whispering to their partner "she's expecting twins". Should have realised then what a head-turner twins are, but I was soon to find out.

There was just one more person to break the news to - in fact the most important person in all this - our little boy, Kaya. Funny thing is, when I told my son a few weeks prior to the scan that "mummy had a baby in her tummy" his response to this was that he wanted "two babies", to which I promptly told him that mummy couldn't have two babies. Little did she know....

Now that his wish had become a reality, I was a little nervous about giving him the news, just in case he thought it through and changed his mind - after all, bad enough having to share your toys with one sibling, let alone two! When I sat him on my lap and told him mummy does in fact have two babies in her tummy, his replied "well Sevcan (his aupair) has TEN babies in her tummy!!" then hopped off my lap and ran off to play. Well that told me!!

I figured he didn't quite understand what I was trying to tell him and I would try to explain again another time. Wrong! He understood alright. The next day I logged onto facebook to find a message from my colleague (who was also Kaya's nursery nurse - I work in a school) congratulating me on the twins, saying that Kaya told everyone in his class and therefore all the staff knew!! That child is like a walking newspaper!!

And so it begins....

It all started with those three little words..."There's two heartbeats".

"I'm sorry, what??" Surely she was joking. But the sonographer wasn't laughing. She pointed at the screen. "There's two babies in there".

"You're kidding me - she's joking right?" I desperately ask hubby. He sits in stunned silence, with a slightly painful looking grin on his face, while I attempt to crush his hand in my vice-like grip.

"This is no joking matter, you are carrying twins and they are identical by the looks of it". She sternly tells me.

Ok ok don't panic. This is good news. The baby is fine - the babies' are fine. That's the main thing right? Everything else will fall into place..

"How will we cope?" I whisper to my husband. He keeps grinning like a maniac (or is it a grimace, I cannot tell in the dark) and just nods. "You're going to have to get the snip after this. Three children under 5!!"

"No need, I'm never touching you again, you're a bloody baby machine" he says through gritted teeth.

Oh my God I'm having twins. OMG there's two! Plus one at home. And so the madness that is my life, begins...